Wednesday, October 10, 2007

One Month Later...

So, it has now been a month since my darling Amy passed away. In some ways things have gotten easier, in other ways they've gotten harder. Though I will never stop loving Amy, nor missing her, or forget her, as time goes on I know that life will again return to a semblance of normalcy without having everything reminding me of Amy. This last month has been a challenge for me and I still have many challenges ahead.

This weekend I have two emotional hurdles. Each of the hospitals that cared for Amy are hosting events either celebrating or remembering their patients. I will be at both events, as will Amy's mom. They will be good for me, but at the same time they won't be easy.

As Amy mentioned several times, God gives Grace for each day and His mercies are new each morning. You never realize how true that is until you're faced with trials and are aware of your need for God's grace and mercy.

I started working on the book a couple of weekends ago. At first it was incredibly overwhelming and I feared that I might not actually be able to finish. However, as time was spent working on it a game plan was developed and it is now much less overwhelming, and semingly doable. I still don't expect it to be an easy task by any means, but I think I can do it. It may tae me some time to finish, but I think I can get at least my part done within a year at the latest.

I also just wanted to let those who are still battling know that they are still being prayed for.

And I wanted to take a second to thank everyone who has sent Gary & I cards. We've received so many wonderful cards from people we know and love, as well as from many strangers. I have been blessed so greatly by all of them. Thank you.

48 comments:

debi said...

Brandon...
I was so delighted to see your update and pleased to know that you are finding His Grace abounding! Am believing that He will be your strength at those upcoming events too...
I am glad to know that you are finding a way to work with getting the book written and published!

Blessings to you and Gary and Amy's family...

~Debi

Dunn Family said...

Brandon,
I ,too, was glad for the update. Our family continues to pray or you and Gary and Amy's family every day. I cannot imagine how hard this is, but I know that you are right...God's grace is there for each day. His mercies are new every morning and His compassions fail not.
We will be praying for you this weekend as you attend these events.
~Gina Dunn

Aunt Boo said...

I am glad to hear that you are doing ok. I check the blog daily so that I can "check on" you and Gary and your family.

I hope all goes well at your events.

Amanda

weavermom said...

Thanks for the update! I've been looking every day and wondering how you and Gary are doing.

Still praying for you!

Anonymous said...

I'm still keeping You, Gary and Amy's family in my prayers!

Happi said...

Brandon, thanks so much for the update! How is little Gary doing? I'd love to hear how he has been. : ) We are still praying!

Happi in IL

Barb @ A Chelsea Morning said...

You and Gary will always be in my prayers, Brandon. Such a difficult time, for both of you. But your book is a wonderful way to honor and share Amy - she was such an inspiration to everyone who knew her and even all of us out here who never actually met her. God bless you.

Undeserving said...

We love you, Brandon. I'm so glad you and Matt had a chance to talk last night. We'll see you soon, I hope! And as always, you remain in our prayers.

Devoted Heart said...

Brandon, I was so happy to hear from you. I miss Amy and still come to this blog every day - sometimes more than once - because I loved reading each and every one of her entries. I am blessed to now be able to read your thoughts now that she's in Heaven.

God bless you and Gary
~ Danielle in AZ

Julie's Jewels said...

Thank you for the update. I check each day to see if there is anything. I'm glad to hear that God's grace is very real and present in your lives. You and Gary and the family remain in our prayers. We will pray extra this weekend with the upcoming events. May God continue to strengthen and bless you abundantly in all you do.

Christina. B said...

I am glad that you are doing alright. I also check the blog daily so that I can "check on" you and Gary and your family.

thanks for the update.

blessings

CB

Anonymous said...

Thank you for posting. You and Amy and Gary have permanent places in so many hearts. The return to the "new" normal is difficult but family, friends, faith, and purpose will help see you through.
Still holding you here in prayer.

Carrie said...

I am also still praying for you as the Lord brings you to mind. Thank you for working on the book! What a blessing your family has been to me.

Rachel D said...

Just wanted to drop by and say hey. Still prayin' for you.

Christie said...

Thanks so much for the update - I check all the time to see if you've written.

Praying for you and your family in this time - His Grace IS Sufficient!

Monica C. said...

Please know that Amy has not been forgotten. I think about your dear wife with every passing day. She was a true inspiration to us all. God bless you,

Kim said...

You are in our prayers, Brandon.

Paulette said...

eqoebnBrandon,
I too come by all the time to check on you and Gary. I know how hard I miss Amy not being here so I can only imagine you all. How is Amy's mom Brandon and little Gary, is he old enough to understand where his mom has gone? I wonder about him all the time.
I will continue to pray for all of you. I so badly want to buy Amy's book! What a precious tribute to her.
God Bless you Brandon

Paulette said...

How strange that typed in the word verification before your name. too strange. sorry about that

Amber D.M. said...

Thanks for the update, Brandon!

Just this morning I was talking with Mom about Amy's departure from this world having been a month ago now. You, Gary and the rest of your families have been much in thought and prayer. If you or Gary ever need anything, please don't hesitate to write/call/etc. us.

Love in Christ,
Amber for the Moellers

Jessi said...

Brandon,

We will be praying for you and Mrs. Martin this weekend. May God be your comfort in your sorrow.

Jessica H.

Pamela said...

I was surprised to see my blogline light up. I always felt the "Light" when I read each post. And this one is no exception.

Blessings on your book compilation, May it help you heal, and encourage others.

Andrea said...

Brandon, I stumbled upon Amy's blog today from another blog... and read it from beginning to end in one sitting. How humbling - CJ Mahaney once said "to be reminding of grace is to be AFFECTED by grace", and my tears are testament to the grace that sustained Amy. I am so touched by your sweet wife, and the "wonderful, merciful Savior" she is now worshiping in person. I can't imagine the rawness of your heart in losing your beloved, but please know that from now on, you and little Gary are in my prayers that God would grant you grace for each day. I look forward to one day buying Amy's book.

Amber said...

I don't know Amy. I just stumbled on her blog sometime shortly after she started it. It is strange though, that I miss her. She was such a bright light for Christ. I truly admired her. I can only imagine how much you miss her...given that I miss her and don't know her!

Carey said...

Thanks for the update. I too find myself here at this blog checking in on you and Gary everyday. You are in our prayers.

Angela said...

Brandon, thanks for the update. Although I didn't know Amy personally, I feel like I got to know her on some level. And I still think about her! I wonder what she doing in heaven! And I wonder how you and Gary and her family and friends are doing. This post has answered many questions! God bless and keep up the good fight!

In Christ,

Angela

Tami said...

Thank you so much for updating. I only know Amy and the family through this blog, but a day never goes by that I don't think of you all and send up prayers. This book will be a healing process for you. Please check in from time to time to let us know how all is going.

Blessings to all.

April said...

I still come back almost every day. The mark that Amy left on my life was a total surprise and such a blessing. I always wonder about you and Gary, as well as Amy's family and friends who also grieve the loss of her. I pray for you and hope for updates when I visit here.

I hope you are preserving what is written here, not just from you and Amy but from all of us who have been so blessed here. I hope this for Gary so that he knows without a doubt what an incredibly story his mama lived. And how strong in the Lord his daddy marches on.

Prayers and hugs...

Anonymous said...

Brandon-
I decided to see if you had done an update and I was glad to see it. I continue to pray daily for your comfort, strength, grace, and mercy to make it through each day. You are right. God gives us enough strength and mercy for each day.

Blessings to your family, Gary, and others touched by her testimony.

Shari

Leigh said...

Thinking of you and Gary and praying for you today.

God Bless!
Leigh

mummymac said...

Also checking in to see if you are ok.

Be sure there are many praying for you and your son.

Blessings from Northern Ireland.

Elaine

Sheila said...

Brandon, it is so good to get the update although I know it is hard for you at this time. Amy touched so many lives through her words. Her words will live on, here eternally and in the book you will write. One day that sweet little boy will have this treasured site to visit and learn about the Mom he is missing and he will read her words of love and encouragement and her strong love for God. There will be no greater gift for him when he is ready. This will be a healing tool for him. God Bless you both. We pray daily for you and all of your family and friends who are hurting through the loss of this precious soul. Her soul is new, healed and with God rejoicing and being you and Gary's guiding angel and she will lead you when you are weak. I know this last weekend was hard. I truly believe she was seeing your pain, and she is watching out for you and her son. I pray that whenever you are lonely and sad, that God will grant her presence in your heart and you will feel her guiding and mothering her family from Heaven. God Bless you....please keep posting, we so want to know how you all are doing...
Love in Christ
Sheila
Tennessee

Tammy C said...

Glad to hear that things are looking up for you.


return to a semblance of normalcy-think of it as your new normal!!

Abby Y. said...

Thanks for updating.
I am really glad that you are making a book! I think you all very often.
Abby Ymker

kingfamily said...

Brandon,
We found Amy through Baby Livi's blog. Thanks for the update. We are praying for you & Gary.
Brandi in PA

Tammi said...

Brandon,
I'm not sure if I posted before, if I have it's only been once or twice. But, I want you to know how much Amy's posts meant to me. Her commitment to the Lord and your commitment to one and other was a beautiful testimony that blessed me many times over.
I will continue to pray for peace and strength for you and Gary as you find your way on this new path.

Anonymous said...

Brandon- just continuing to pray for you and Gary...pray for sleep to come easy, pray for healing each day, pray for God's amazing mercies for you and Gary. My heart crumbles each and every time I think of baby Gary, however I know our huge loving God, and He is all over this situation. The most I know to give is prayers and I will always continue to do that!!
With much love and prayers
April Martin and family

mel said...

You will continue to be in my prayers...

Those anniversaries and gatherings are certainly hard, but somehow, God gives the grace we need to get through.

Like when my Fiancee's unit returned home from Iraq-- Without him. How did I make it through that day? = God.

May he bless you!!

gold said...

I am praying for you.

Betony said...

Brandon, I don't know about the others, but I would dearly love to see some pictures posted of Amy BEFORE the leukemia was diagnosed. I have never seen any pictures of her as a well adult. It would mean the world to me to have some.

You and Gary are in my thoughts and prayers. I look forward to the book

Anonymous said...

Brandon,
Eric and I are thinking of you and praying for you constantly.

Emily B.

animalover said...

Pleased to see your update! We are still praying for you. God bless

Anonymous said...

Question: If you had to do it all over again would you choose the same course knowing the outcome? Just wondering if all of the pain and hospital time was worth the extra time together? I don't know which road I would walk if I found myself in a similar situation.

Anonymous said...

Only God knows the outcome of everything, and doing everything possible to try to overcome this terrible disease and be able to be with my family and raise my child would be the exact course I would choose. I think Amy did exactly what God would have had her do, and even though it involved a lot of sickness and pain, I am proud of her for the valiant fight whe fought. I know I would do the same if I were put in that situation. God bless you anonymous

Faith Ecenroad said...

xI am praying that you will experience tremendous grace and healing as you work on the book. I found Amy's blog 2 weeks before moving to Kenya. Before I headed to the airport (sept 10), I checked the website. I prayed numerous times on my flight for a miracle for Amy, to find that she had gone to be with her creator later that day. May the Lord bless you!
Faith

Heather said...

Thank you for the update, Brandon, I still continue to pray for you and I am so glad you are moving forward with the book. Praying for continued strength and Grace~Heather

Angela said...

Just wondering how you and Gary are doing?

Blessings in Christ,

angela

angela said...

Anymore updates?

angela :-)