Saturday, August 04, 2007

Friday

God's mercies are new every morning because each day has enough mercy in it only for that day. This is why we tend to despair when we think that we may have to bear tomorrow's load on today's resources. God wants us to know that we won't. Today's mercies are for today's troubles. Tomorrow's mercies are for tomorrow's troubles.--John Piper (A Godward Life, pg. 26) (I found this quote on Google, so I'm not perfectly certain of the authenticity of the source -- said what I wanted to say, though.)

Yesterday morning found me in the radiation department in tears because I just could not face all that the day held. But His mercies held through, and we got through the day. Special mercies like the nurse who took time to alcohol the ink pen I needed to use, or the tech who noticed me shivering in the hallway outside of the general waiting area because of my neutropenic state and offered a few blankets. I have come to love warm blankets. By the time I got to the biopsy room I was quite content to cuddle up under a few of them and await the inevitable. I think yesterday's biopsy was one of my easiest -- and for that I am incredibly thankful. (I am quite sore today, though.) The doctor was also able to see me earlier than planned, so I didn't have hours to wait in discomfort.

I still have infiltrates in my lungs. Some areas were better and some were worse. Apparently fungal pneumonia can be asymptomatic, so having clear sounding lungs doesn't necessarily mean anything. I'll continue on the IV infusions twice a day of Vorconazole and hopefully things will clear up. I got my familiar biopsy tech yesterday who does nothing but biopsies all day long and is quite good at them and also good to assist me in breathing. Deep breath in and let it out during aspiration -- somehow it helps. This time it actually came out as more of a breath and less of a scream, and he was able to get the necessary marrow in one pull. For those in the know, you know that's really cool. :-) By the time I saw my doctor my drugs had kicked in pretty heavy, so I am not the best source of information regarding the appointment. He's not closing the door on me yet, though he will not yet agree to second transplant. We need to see what the biopsy looks like (results next week) and go from there. He mentioned doing another round of chemo -- chlofarabine, which is a drug I haven't seen yet. He still wants me in significant remission before agreeing to transplant. The problem at the moment is that sending my counts down to zero again with active pneumonia is risky, so I guess my major prayer request right now is that it would just clear up. I have an appointment again on Friday to see him and get a chest x-ray to see where things stand with the pneumonia.

Also, please pray that my platelets will start to hold. It has been exhausting keeping up with them this past week. The last round of chemo just hit really hard, and it takes a while. I'm needing almost daily transfusions to keep them up, and the numbers are still dipping dangerously low.

35 comments:

katherine said...

Here's a little virtual hug. :) Just wanted you to know that we're still praying for you! :)

Carrie said...

Thank you for the update, Amy. You are in my thoughts and prayers often. With my hubby in Iraq, I have experienced the "grace sufficient for the day." Some days my own faith/obedience quota is low, but God is always faithful. Your faith is such a blessing.

Barbie@ Mamaology said...

Lord of mercy, please heal Amy. Heal her pneumonia quickly and please let her platelets hold. I pray for strength for each day. And relief form pain and discomfort. Fill her with your joy and peace. In Jesus Name Amen.

April said...

It struck me to today that one of the amazing things about you is your ability to share the experience you are going through. Being a medical transcriptionist, I hear the drug names and the test names and even the patient names. They somehow never assemble into a full picture of reality. But reading your updates keeps me ever mindful of the human side of cancer. It isn't just a drug or a test or a charity. It isn't just a news article or statistic or experiment in a lab.

Amy, you are so in my thoughts and you relating the details of your life have impacted me and my prayers for you in ways I could not describe.

I ache for you, I pray for you, I long to give you something that will comfort you.

Every day when I check for updates on your site I say this quiet little prayer for good news, for your spirits to be soaring on good news.

You are one of the first prayers of my day, and almost always more often than once in that day.

Be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Put on all His armor and fight the good fight. In our weakness, He comes so strong. And He gives us the power and the strength to carry on. More power to ya...(Petra)

Hang in there Amy. Crawl under those blankets and just hold on to the knowledge that your are blanketed in prayer and our God is an awesome God.

Hugs and prayers...

Anonymous said...

How I wish we could send you some of our Phoenix heat when you're cold...Your Mom give me an update yesterday when I called so we will continue to ask for healing of the pneumonia and for your platelets to increase. We'll also ask for your complete healing so that there will be no more biopsies, transfusions, nor chemo drugs.

Our God is full of power and might. He made our bodies and He knows how to heal them. His perfect plan is working in your life and we are truly blessed by your courage and testimony through this terrible time.

Still expecting a miracle from above for you, Brandon, and Gary. Continue to trust in the Lord, Jesus Christ, and he will never abandon you.

Praying for your complete healing everyday.
Uncle Cliff

Anonymous said...

Amy it is truly amazing what the body can withstand while medicine is trying to make it better. What a battle you have fought....but the battle is not over, and you still have rounds to fight. Thanks for mentioning the mercies that God grants each day....sometimes it is hard to see them at all, but you have and for that I am grateful. Still praying for you....Gig (Livi's grandma)

P M M Pennsylvania said...

GOD BLESS YOU-- You are certainly going above and beyond to share your daily struggles and mercies with us-
You are on my mind -- dear one
Blessings to you
Phyllis

Anonymous said...

I hurt to hear you say that you are weary and loosing the will to fight. I will continue to pray, I promise. May God hold you close and fill your cup.
With love
April Martin

Heather said...

Thank you so much for the update. I take so much for granted dear sister. I praise the Lord for your faith and perseverence. What a blessing. Praying for that miracle of miracles. I can't imagine the trial it must be waiting for it, praying praying praying. ((hug)) Heather

Dave said...

Hello - this is Jaymun's Dad - praying very hard with you. No matter how confusing this is - Jesus is LORD, Jesus hears, feels your pain, He will bring you through to victory. You can always pour out your heart to Him - He knows your anguish, Who better to have holding your hand as you walk this treacherous path?

Yesterday, while driving, I was listening to the song "Nothing is impossible" - and in the middle of thanking and praising my saviour - I pressed home your need, your emergency, your family, your life - and then I celebrated the Lord's awesomeness on your behalf.

Expect to see great things Sister... The Lord does not work weakly. Those who take up His Name are not ashamed.

Sun said...

OH this touched my heart - AMAZING! Praying that you feel God's hands upon you, guiding you, holding you, and comforting you. You are so very precious. Sunshine

angela said...

Amy, I admire your strenght, courage and bravery. You might not feel brave, but you are! You are an inspiration! You are tough, girl! I know that your toughness is from the Lord! I pray for you! I find that the Lord prompts me to pray for you and I can't resist! You are on my mind and in my prayers!

Your sister in Christ,

Angela

Kim said...

Thank you, Amy, for the update. I will be praying for all you mentioned.

His mercies are new every morning...what a sweet reminder...

Sisters in Christ,
Kim

Rachel said...

So glad to hear the biopsy went as well as it did. You are still in my prayers Amy. Thanks for the update.

Teresa said...

We've been away but keeping track on how you were doing. Even on vacation, the Lord has kept us praying for you. We are praying for the pneumonia to clear and good platlet counts but also for strength for each day.
Blessings,
Teresa

Dot said...

One breath of paradise will extinguish all the adverse winds of earth. A W Pink

J said...

Don't doubt that you are always in our prayers, you and your whole family. You can and have given much better sermons on the faithfulness of God than I can give, but I can at least remind and encourage: God has never failed and never will.

Lauren said...

Wonderful quote, Amy. I'll be praying for you.

Anonymous said...

still praying, Amy.

Anonymous said...

Amy-
I was directed to your site from another blog. Your testimony is such an encouragement to others. I want you to know I am praying for you daily and that I love you, sister!
In Christ,
Shari

Monica C. said...

Prayers for raised platelets (I picture them being little soldiers in a vast army (I'm not sure why, LOL)) and NO MORE PNEUMONIA. I thank GOD for answering our prayers on your behalf. Thank you, Lod, for blessing Amy and for your daily mercies upon her and upon us all! God bless you Amy!

Suzanne said...

I was led to your site from Ashley Adams site..... & have thought about you & prayed for you. I found myself wondering how you were & decided to look for myself. Let me pray with you:
"Dear precious Heavenly Father....I humble myself before you & ask for my hearts desire ...for this tired wife & mom....to be healed if it is Your will Lord. I ask for your comfort & peace that surpasses our understanding to surround her & her family as they are in (what is an unimaginable storm of life....) Help ease Amy's pain....& allow her to feel you holding her each step of the way. I lay these requests before you Lord....for I know this is a heavy burden for Amy...physically...emotionally...mentally.....& how tired she must be...Asking all of this in the Name OF JESUS....." Amen.

Kelsie Corcoran said...

He is good. I am praying for you still.
Much love,
Patrick's little sister.

A Friend said...

Amy,
It is such a blessing knowing how you want us to direct our prayers! We can assume but you and your family KNOW what you need from our Lord. My prayers are with you.

Scratchin' the Surface said...

Amy, praying more specifically today after reading your post. xooxox

Mel's Mom said...

Love, hugs, and prayers.

Dunn Family said...

Amy,
I have read this post a few times now and when I just checked the comments I was surprised to see that I had not commented! Here the whole time, I thought I had! I really am now convinced there is such a thing as "chemo brain" *smile*
I just so wanted you to know that you are earnestly prayed for each and every day by my family and even extended family. Do not lose the will to fight unless the Lord tells you it is time! We know He is a God of miracles still today! Your life even right now is a living testimony to that! Not just because you are still alive, but because you are able to still praise Him in the midst of these circumstances. He is working mightily in you and through you.
I will be looking forward to seeing your next update and hopefully remembering to comment sooner!
Love Always,
Gina

gold said...

Yes I am still praying for you.

blackmink18 said...

praying for you! One day there will be no cancer. For now, we must play the hand god dealt us. He has a plan and it involves everyone and everything. We all just have to enjoy every moment no matter what we're going through because it's with Jesus we live. God bless you.

Sally said...

Amy, hon, prayers and blessings your way. Please update us. We're all pulling for you!

Wendy said...

Praying for you today, Amy.

Heather said...

Amy, I was hoping to read an update! praying for you!

Tammy said...

Just checking in since you haven't posted in a few days... I am someone you've never met but have been praying for you and trying to keep up with you on your blog. I pray you are OK and the Lord is richly blessing you with peace and strengthening you in all things!

mel said...

You are in my prayers, and you are a HUGE INSPIRATION to me... THANK YOU!!

Tanisha said...

Hi Amy,
I just wanted you to know that I am praying for you. I think of you often. May He make you strong and give you grace and comfort and peace.
God bless you sister!
Tanisha